Be Choosy About What You Give Your Energy

I had an interaction with the spouse of someone coming in for a consultation today that I haven’t had in quite a while. We have a “no cell phone sounds” boundary in our salon, and we make sure to let people know at the beginning so that it’s not so weird if we have to remind them. About 10 minutes after arriving, we had to give him a kind reminder. 

When we give the reminder, most people quickly and apologetically turn off their sound. The approach and delivery are important. Even with a kind approach, you’ll still get someone who doesn’t like to be guided, and they’ll give you some pushback. And that’s what this guy did. 

Having a plan for times like these will make you feel less anxious.

And you won’t end up saying something you’ll cringe about later. When you know the boundaries are non-negotiable, you can stay gentle and kind while enforcing them. 

We choose to stay passive when someone is rude. There is a clear separation between them and us because our boundaries protect us. We know that pushback is evidence that they’re not a good fit. 

The remaining challenge is to keep from getting your feelings hurt when someone is rude to you.

Being passive does not mean that you carry someone else’s weight. It means that you don’t have to give it your energy. Picture the rudeness dissipating in the space between you. The negativity isn’t yours. Let it fall flat like a joke in poor taste. 

You have to practice this. When you feel baited, remember that it’s into a game of their choosing, and they’ll only choose games they enjoy. You don’t have to give energy to everything that comes your way.

Your “no” is just as important as your “yes.” 

“No, I will not give my energy to any part of that.” Say it again any time the rude comment creeps back into your thoughts.

“No, I will not give my energy to any part of that.”