Do You Have A Code Of Conduct?
A code of conduct is a personal set of rules that you establish for yourself to maintain your professionalism and integrity while navigating the various personalities in our industry.
Part of the Boundaries For Stylists' Code of Conduct for communication is "Respond to emotional outbursts and unfounded accusations with quiet, calm patience.' It's a conscious attempt to establish a "norm" with the expectation that the other person will hear themselves and notice how out-of-place their emotional outburst is.
It's like a music teacher in a classroom of students. The leader plays a note on the piano, and the students hum the note. During their time together, if the students get off the pitch, the leader hits the correct key on the piano, and the students find the note again.
If a student refused to stay on the pitch, even after attempts to redirect, the group would be forced to remove the person from the choir. A choir only works if everyone is working together. The alternative is chaos. And nobody wants to listen to chaos.
Stay calm, stay quiet, and be patient. No matter how aggressive or off-pitch the other person is, do not match their tone. Establish the tone you want and remain quiet until they realize you’re not going to throw out the harmony just to keep them.
Remember, the entire time they treat you like you’re saying “no”, you are actually saying “yes.”
“Yes, please follow the lamps (boundaries) to my chair.”
They’re the only ones saying “no.”
It’s bizarre what boundaries do to a person with a fixed mindset. It’s like someone who wants to move their arm, but they refuse to move it. They complain, they get upset, but they won’t move their arm.
You might wonder if a client will come around to match pitch, but they rarely do. Not when they’re used to being a bully to get their way. It makes them more worked up because hitting a boundary forces them to deal with some internal stuff:
Their tactics aren't working on you, which pisses them off.
Their pride won't let them back down.
They begin to feel embarrassed because, against your calm demeanor, they can see what they're doing.
Remain kindly quiet, and let it pass.
