You Are The Professional. Not Your Client.
When you establish boundaries for your business, you are actively taking on a leadership role with your clients. Think of boundaries as instructions. Create a set of instructions for those who want to use your business.
You know what's possible. You know how long things take and what needs to be in place to perform your job. You are the professional. The leader.
Heather was a new client who ended up in my chair because I’m a blonding specialist and her husband found my work on Instagram. She had level 3, fine, waste-length hair and used a heavily filtered inspiration photo of a rooted silvery platinum. I was the second stylist she was trying in her quest to look like the photo.
The first stylist began the long and delicate journey toward her goal, but it wasn’t moving fast enough for Heather and her husband (I know, I know. Not my business unless he becomes a problem.). She said she knew that her goal would take time, but her actions (switching stylists in the middle of a massive project) said otherwise.
I don’t patronize people. If they say they understand, I take them at their word. Besides, maybe there is something that I know about lifting fine, dark hair that her previous stylist didn’t. You never know until you try.
I had a lot of work to do. I started the process of evening out her canvas by dodging yellow level 8s to lift the orange level 7s. The fragility of her hair made the work slow and stressful, but after the first three hours, I could see some improvement in my canvas.
She came in for another round, and I balanced my time with her between addressing her new growth and lifting the bottom a little bit more. I knew it would take a few more times to safely get her blonde to at least an even level 8, and then we could focus on maintenance after that.
But I never got the chance. She gave me two appointments to get her where she wanted to be, and then she moved on. Just like I was building on what the previous stylist had done, and it was good work I might add, she was moving on to another stylist who would build on the work I had done.
If a project takes 7 appointments to complete and the client switches stylists every two appointments, what does the final stylist look like? A hero.
We're people-pleasers for a living, but you are 100% percent limited by chemistry and biology. It doesn't matter how badly you want to be a miracle worker for your clients. "Want" cannot compete with science.
We want to feel important and rise above the “competition,” but there is no other stylist you’re competing with. Only yourself.
You may want to rescue a disgruntled chair-hopping client, but they’re usually not chair-hopping because all the stylists they’ve gone to aren’t skilled enough for them. Chair hopping stems from a mental state or a lack of education, or unrealistic expectations.
You might be amazing at hair, but are you a psychologist? Can you take them through all the years of your training before you start their hair? Can you perform an impossible feat just because they think it’s possible?
You are not a miracle worker. You’re a skilled artist who uses chemistry to manipulate fibers.
You are not a hero. You are a guide that helps your clients overcome their hair challenges.
You are not above the laws of science. Thinking otherwise can make a stylist feel like a failure.
Ground yourself in this reality and fully acknowledge that you are probably doing way better than you think, and you’re constantly evolving into a better hairdresser every day. Work on your skills, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough.
